New Members introduction thread - POST HERE FIRST!

Hello everyone!

I'm a recent graduate from the UK and have visited China several times so I'm quite interested in this website. I have a strong interest in working in the Far East in the future, so I like to read non-conventional sources of information on the region (like blogs).

I've been a lurker on these forums until now.

Hey Raj,

Maybe all newcomers should be required to get past me first, like a Gargoyle at the front gate! :wink:

So let me propose the "Ivan Test", and we'll start with kirovman.

Kirovman (any relation to the same Kirov whose assassination in Dec 1934 began Stalin's purges?), here's a multiple choice test for you:

1. Are you a pouf?

a. Yes
b. No
c. None of your business

2. Are you an agnostic?

a. Yes.
b. No.
c. Yes. Wait, I mean no! AGGGHHHH..... (fall into infernal canyon)

3. Name the three parts of dialectics

a. Thesis, antithesis, synthesis
b. Groucho, Chico and Harpo
c. Davesgonechina, Ivan, and nonsequiturs
d. Do they still make phones like that?

4. You would describe your political persuasion as

a. Left
b. Right
c. Kneecapping
d. Blackmail
e. Anything that will get me on CCTV

5. (Get this one wrong and Richard might blackball you), the composer Wagner was

a. The greatest musician of all time
b. Anything else

6. (Get this one wrong and Ivan might blackball you), the art of cartooning is

a. For children
b. One of the first lines of defense against every kind of tyranny over the Mind of Man

7. If I decide you have failed this test, you will

a. Give up and leave
b. Have another beer and comment more
c. Have another beer and then give ME a test!

No relation to General Kirov, no. I just enjoy the sub-par quality of Kirov Vodka.

At the risk of being blackballed, I'll give your test a go.

1.c
2.c - A friend of mine doesn't believe that agnostics can exist(!)
3.a
4.a - (But pretty centrist).
5.a
6.b
7.c - In Soviet Russia, test fail YOU!

Kirovman, you needn't have bothered with the questions. Ivan would've embraced you like a brother after you wrote that you enjoy vodka. :wink:

(And the correct response to 3 is b or c or d but definitely not a...at least not here at the pond. :wink:)

At the risk of being blackballed, I'll give your test a go.

1.c
2.c - A friend of mine doesn't believe that agnostics can exist(!)
3.a
4.a - (But pretty centrist).
5.a
6.b
7.c - In Soviet Russia, test fail YOU!

1. CORRECT ANSWER! (Although a and b are also acceptable.)

2. Correct, but you would have received extra credit if you had recognised that this was an allusion to the scene of the bridge-keeper in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". Here it is:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=F8Bweb1nJY4

3. Partial credit for knowing Hegel, but the best answer would have been Groucho Marx et al

4. Either a or b are acceptable here. But I should have added more options, sorry about that.

5. CORRECT!

6. CORRECT!

7. 110 PERCENT CORRECT! (aka, 55 proof Russian vodka!)

Enter, Friend!

Yeah, I remember that Monty Python scene :D

I must confess... I don't know Hegel :oops:

So what are your backgrounds, Ivan and nausicaa?

I gather Ivan is some Russian vodka-fueled guy? :lol:

Vodka is engineer-fuel.! 8)

I am a SWM, 1.9 meters, great abs. I like shopping all day (with the right woman), and giving sensual aromatic massage while preparing a simple light dinner for her.

:twisted:

there was once a t_co who was an investment banker who first worked in hong kong (where he heard about this blog), then shanghai (where he started posting on it), and now misses it in the hinterlands and beijing.

i am his friend and younger cousin.

we are both highly interested in the larger direction of china as a whole, which is why we post here.

i like playing football while skiing, which probably qualifies me for terminal insanity. other things that are cool include (in no particular order) sleeping in, sleeping around, and cognac w/ caviar.

WHAT? Good God, man, don't you know that there is NOOOOO "right woman" to shop with. All women are the wrong women when it comes to shopping.

Yeah. (Cough, cough, suppressing vomit.)

Here's a photo of t-co in real life, and one of his seduction letters:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/37319

Nice to know that Ivan is still good old Ivan, never unwilling to take the bait.

t-co II, in your case it's not "bait", it's more like you walk around with a bright red bulls-eye painted on your ass.

Howdy all

i'm also a recent graduate from ostraya. Been to china several times, and am pretty bemused by the whole thing. Been a pet love/hate/so-infuriating-that-i-tear-out-my-hear-and-several-teeth place of mine since then. I will also lurk.

Hiya, balian. Hope you have a good time here.

How come I've been picked on here? Not everyone else has done it?

You just don't like someone argueing who may be western? Why didn't you PM me? Please do not organise some sort of poisoning. I'm not bad.

Stop with the 'incoherent' jibes. It's a fucking website where as far as I'm concerned, english can be not 'queen's' for effect. You don't actually mean "coherent" anyhow, you mean "argeeable". What is this site? An english exam? I rant a little normally cos I'm laughing at original post, it's hard to think straight enough for you guys when you're spitting food at screen, obviously.

What the hell do you want me to say here? "Tall, athletic graduate, good sense of humour, available for serious relationships?"

But I am that apart from last detail unless you are better than current incumbent(I'm using a good word here, to prove I ain't a chinky). You work it out if my racism here is ironic or not.

I'll post when I think it will amuse me and educate you/me. Otherwise I'm a lurker.

That is all.

ps sorry if I lit fuse on post. It's not entirely my fault though. But I didn't buy your gist. It was lame/bizarre given some of stuff that does come from chinese( intro with no strong relevence to point you were trying to make.) You could have said it without history lesson (though that was fascinating fact. I've not mentioned it to my my russian wife yet. Ooops. I missed this out from my CV.)

pps feel free to pm me. I've normally nothing better to do at nights. (I'm in the hicks near Zhongshan). I'll happily discuss politics, football, music, how the last 3 star wars films were rubbish (with increasing rubbishness, and that was saying something given Jar Jar Binks was in the 4th in series) etc etc

Colin, we will ban people if we want to - you don't need to authorise us. That said there's no reason for you to even think about that right now. Just enjoy the forum and leave it at that. Raj

Colin,

I haven't read all your posts, but I will chime in and say that if you are Scottish, you are not a well-educated one, judging by your English usage and mechanics. What stands out in particular is your use of the word "cos." I do not recall seeing adult English native speakers of any nationality use that non-standard spelling on blogs, but I have seen fluent English-speaking Asians use it because it's more convenient than typing out the whole word "because."

Subjecting you to a culture quiz would be a waste of time since your native-like English indicates that you have spent some time abroad. I am not Korean but could probably "pass" a Korean culture test given in the Korean language, for I lived in the country almost a decade and keep up with current news and trends through news websites and blogs.

On this and other websites I frequent, it is not unusual for commentators to post under a sock of a different nationality, in order to be avoid being accused of bias. I think this is silly. Ideas ought to be evaluated on their own merit. Identity matters only when the commentator is claiming to be an expert.

Oh, and the inconsistent use of articles (a, an, the) is another giveaway.

Well, slightly back on the original topic ...

Been lurking for a bit, and since I'll be moving to HK next year I decided to finally join so I could post. Recent grad, doing the trained monkey business in Japan. I have a Chinese girlfriend whom I met I Canada, so that's why I'm cutting Japan short and heading over to China soon, where I'll be attempting to enroll in the Chinese University of Hong Kong's Mandarin course.

Interested in Asian history and languages, obviously.

Been lurking for a bit, and since I'll be moving to HK next year I decided to finally join so I could post. Recent grad, doing the trained monkey business in Japan. I have a Chinese girlfriend whom I met I Canada, so that's why I'm cutting Japan short and heading over to China soon, where I'll be attempting to enroll in the Chinese University of Hong Kong's Mandarin course.

Interested in Asian history and languages, obviously.

Welcome, and some serious advice: If that avatar is actually a photo of yourself, you might want to change it before you move to China, unless you want to be very careful about posting any criticisms of the government here.

Also, honestly, the tongue sticking out is a bit irritating. Maybe if Nausicaa's avatar kisses yours, it'll turn into a handsome prince.

For some reason, I just don't feel like ripping into the Chinese government very much. Unless I go back to Canada and join the Foreign Affairs department or something, I doubt I'll be posting many criticisms. Human rights abuses, corruption, poverty, environment ... I just feel a bit "So what? This is China. They don't care."

As for the avatar, well, they come and go. If I make a better one, it will be replaced.

g'day
australian, lurker thus far, half an arts degree, a couple of trips to china and a small goatie that i can't figure out what to do with. Shit, now that I think of it, I'm not nearly the dynamic individual I always thought I was. Oh well, lucky there's always blogs to build myself back up.

I've found the blog interesting and entertaining so far; as we say in Oz "good stuff"

Welcome!

Seems quite a few of the newbies are Ozzies.