The "Imitate Panzi Composition Contest"

Alternatively, we could launch the "Panzi's Art Contest for Kids." Send in a drawing of contented rosy-cheeked peasants surrounded by the bounties of the harvest, barrel-chested rosy-cheeked soldiers holding the red book aloft or any other socialist realist "art" that is humorless to the point of campiness.
The most ludicrously nationalistic bit of propaganda that glorifies the CCP in the most unrealistic manner will be declared the winner.

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Panzi

Look out, foreigners! Capitalist running dogs! Um...Enemies! We better resist them! Now there's a message in the spirit of Panzi.
And wow! Look at the forearms on that guy! Those imperialist anglo genocidists had better hope that he doesn't challenge them to an arm-wrestling contest.

A good Chinese TV miniseries:

Recently I watched this completely gay Chinese TV Miniseries about completely desexualized guys and petty manipulative bitches. (Well, that pretty much sums up 40% of them) The other 50% are emotional Garden-State like TV Miniseries that make me want to take out an AK and shoot everyone onscreen. And then there are the 10% that are old-style historical films about various dynasties killing the Mongols/Turks/Tibetans and, of course, killing the Japanese in WWII. They’re ok, but they need to show more titty scenes (preferably of Chinese soldiers raping enemy women.)

But being the type of guy who likes to propose solutions to the problems he finds, here is what I’d consider as a model Chinese miniseries worth the CCP Propaganda Department sinking millions of Yuan into.

TITLE:

The Mandate From Heaven

MAIN CHARACTERS:

Poor Peasant Farmer #1 (You have to keep the protagonist anonymous and dirt-poor to emphasize the “it-could-happen-to-anybody� tone of this miniseries): Tall, simple guy from China’s northeast who works in a car factory. Over the course of the story, he needs to slowly develop into someone as intelligent as Einstein, iron-willed and farsighted as Julius Caesar, and moral as Jesus Christ (a.k.a. a Nietzschean übermensch).
Coastal Entrepreneur #1: Short, neurotic, fat guy from Shanghai: freewheeling entrepreneur who likes making money and fucking. At first, he is submissive to foreigners, but after meeting PPF #1, he becomes a patriotic moneymaking mo-sheen. (Emphasize the possibility of redemption for any Chinese, no matter how bad their situation is.)
Poor Peasant Farmer #2: Slim, short, chain-smoking comic foil to PPF #1. (Fine, fine. Make him an ethnic Tibetan for diversity.)
Hot, submissive, innocent Chinese girls #1 – 50: Self-Explanatory. All Chinese women who appear in the story should fall into this category, unless they’re married to a foreign guy, in which case they are:
Evil, manipulative, ugly, slut-looking Cracker Chasing Bitches #1 – 10: All Chinese women who’ve been corrupted by foreign guys fall into this category. They should all be played by actresses older than 40 wearing ugly makeup and die in satisfying ways throughout the movie (e.g. car accident while sucking off their White husband on the freeway) when the plot is slow.
Regular Chinese guy #1 – 10: These guys should seem submissive and stupid until meeting PPF #1. Then they should show their “inner China-man� and become courageous and smart.
Brutal evil Foreign guys #1 – 50: Evil, brutal American/Japanese/British guys who only think about screwing and making money all day. (Wait, you might say. Isn’t that what CE #1 thinks too? You’re right. But CE #1 is Chinese, which automatically makes him a good guy in this story. Furthermore, these “foreign devils� make the other Chinese guys seem noble and divine.)
Good helpful homo Foreign guys #1 – 10: Altruistic French/German/Russian/Black/Latino guys who are nice and polite—but either gay or metrosexual. They should emphasize how manly and courageous the Chinese are.

PLOT:
A few pointers:
1. You need to have sex/violence from the get-go. Your target audience is males aged 10-30. Remember that you’re competing with the Hot Coffee Scene from GTA 3 SA for their attention.
2. You need to express a clear morality from the start too. No moral relativism shit—just follow the formula of China good, France/Germany/Russia/Africa/Latin America/China’s allies OK, and America/Japan/Britain/China’s geopolitical rivals = VILEDISGUSTINGSHIT. This miniseries’ morality should be as clear-cut as the Bible’s. Remember that you want anyone who views your series to feel pure love for their fellow Chinese, respect and empathy for China’s allies, and pure, clenched-fist hate/disgust for China’s rivals or potential enemies.
3. Subliminal Messaging: You need to add subliminal messages to this flick for maximum effect. Read Night Chills by Dean Koontz to learn how. But the messages should be things like: “Obey the CCP,� “Hide your hate of foreigners (but never forget it),� “Subvert enemy nations from within by emigrating there,� etc. Use them to implant themes that won’t fit into your plot.
4. Prime Time. Don’t be a wuss and stick this miniseries in the late night slot—be like Pat Robertson and convert entire families to your cause.

Now, the storyline:
Episode 1: PPF #1’s car factory goes through financial trouble and is bought out by BEWG #1. He comes to the town and starts abusing the women employees, raping them, etc. In the process he accidentally “touches� PPF #1’s sister. PPF #1 goes and get some of his friends, and together they beat the shit out of BEFG #1, castrate him, burn him alive, and mail his balls to the President of the United States. Then PPF #1 watches TV, gets pissed off by the neutered portrayals of Chinese guys, and goes to Hollywood to kick some more foreign ass.
Episode 2: PPF #1 arrives in LAX and kills six BEFGs who are walking with Asian women. Then he goes to Hollywood, watches one of Richard Gere’s movies, and decides to kill him. Show Richard Gere (BEFG #2) about to rape an HSICG in his car. PPF #1 sees them, and saves the HSICG by sawing through the car door with a chainsaw and anally penetrating Gere with the chainsaw. PPF #1 cuts downward, castrating BEFG #2. (Play this scene in slow-mo with the Chinese National Anthem in the background; also start a little counter in the bottom of the screen that reads: BEFG balls count: 4) Then show police officers closing in on him, with orders to “kill the yellow-skinned chink� (you need to make the racism of BEFGs very, very apparent here; apparent enough for the entire Chinese family.)
Episode 3: PPF #1 goes Matrix-style with a chainsaw on the policemen, but spares a Chinese-American policeman and a Japanese-American policeman. He ties the Japanese dude to the grille of a police cruiser, and then awakens the “inner-China-man� within the Chinese guy, now a RCG. Then RCG #1 gets behind the wheel of the cruiser, PPF #1 hops in passenger seat, and they go cruising down the streets of Sunset Boulevard with a half-dead BEFG #3 tied to the grille. Cut episode with police choppers closing in while “The East is Red� plays in the background.
Episode 4: BEFG #4 in the choppers announces to PPF #1 and RCG #1 that “Chinkies, you are surrounded. Surrender peacefully and we won’t rape and kill these fellow yellows.� Cut to image of HSICG’s dangling from the chopper. RCG #1 gives PPF #1 his Glock, and PPF #1 says “weak Foreign weapon, it’s time we showed these white people the power of the Chinese� and pulls out a Chinese RPG-7. He downs the lead chopper with a single rocket, and the other choppers open fire with M-60s. Cut to grille cam. BEFG #3 (the Jap) gets shot in the crotch by friendly fire. (BEFG Balls count: 6.) Now cut to BEFG #4 about to shoot an HSICG. Cut to PPF #1 taking aim with an AK-47 and shooting BEFG #4’s right hand. BEFG #4 tries pushing HSICG out of chopper, but HSICG dodges and BEFG #4 falls out of helicopter, saved by a rope attached to the helicopter.
(I can’t go on anymore, this is getting too ridiculous)

Panzi apparently only has 7 posts here:

The western blow job giving so called "democracy" loving pussies will see a new world order with the rise of China, who is only trying to secure what is theirs in the new harmonious world.

Anybody that is not chinese should be gang-raped by chinese men, and then by the chinese women. But these will be true chinese. Not the Chinese that went overseas and did not participate in the rise of China after the communist liberation of China. They too shall be gang-raped in the most gruesome form possible.

I am a native-born Chinese. I have been educated in a government that is balanced and science-based. All religious people should be killed. Opps it's dinner time, so all you non-true chinese should go fuck yourself.

I walked in on my mother being screwed by a foreigner when I was 6 years old.
That's why I have such hatred in my heart for all of you. She should be all mine.
You watch out! Some day the world will be ruled by me and other Chinese like me, who spend all night in net bars ranting about the Japanese! Sitting here chain smoking and playing Counter Strike, while imagining the bad guys in the game are the imperialists and their running dogs is the best way to remember the Nanjing Massacre. Yes, someday, this net bar will be ours! And then the world will be ours!
:twisted:
Maybe then girls will actually talk to me, and mommy will leave that guy! :idea: I don't like him! :(
I want mommy to buy me a new teddy bear.
-Panzi

I am Panzi. I chose this name because I am native born Chinese man. I am comfortable in my sexuality.
All of the bastard children of my motherland (caucasian) are no more than inbred halfbreed of my ancestors.
You all know that 90% of the world population has brown eyes and black hair. We are the superior race.
Hitler had very good ideas, but he was on the wrong team. All of you savage white people should be happy we even allow you to walk the street without a conspicuos armband to show what your true meaning is. Weak. Flabby. Tight-assed.
Only when the real Rulers of the World, the brown eyed, black haired people rise up will the world be a better place.
Take your "manners" and try to corral the peasant uprising, you will fail.
We the meek, shall inherit the earth.