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Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui

Protecting you from Falling Cows since 2007
Happy Chrismschanukwanzikah!

This article was aggregated from Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui
Happy Chrismschanukwanzikah!
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion [...]
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Porn Review: Kappa Slut in Cum All Ye Faithful

This article was aggregated from Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui
I just downloaded and watched the Kappa Slutās video. I just wasted 12 minutes of my life that I will never get back, and Iām not happy about it. Iād have been better off having a shit. But hey, at least now I can do my famous-in-the-world XXXmas Porn Review, right?
So, the plot: Thereās this [...]
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Help the CIA to Make a Difference

This article was aggregated from Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui
This is an appeal to all my readers, on behalf of one of our favourite Agents in the field.
It seems that our Agent, whom we shall refer to as Agent X from America, even though his name is Michael and he lives in China, has gotten himself noticed by the Enemy, who have declared a [...]
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A Christmas Carol

This article was aggregated from Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui
AWAY IN ZHONGNANHAI
(to the tune of āAway in a Mangerā)
Away in Zhongnanhai,
No tears for the proles shed,
The Chinese Party Chairman,
Dyed his grey haired head.
The stars on the red flag,
Looked down where he embezzled,
The stalwart Chinese economy,
Was starting to look disheveled.
The foreigners are going,
The milk products are fakes,
But the Chinese Party Chairman,
No reforms he makes.
I [...]
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Santa Claus

This article was aggregated from Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui
Santa Claus is coming to always in town.
For all of you out there, adults and children alike, waiting for Santa Claus to visit your comfy Chinese homes well, Iām afraid thereās some bad news.Ā Santa was refused a visa this year!Ā It was announced on the China Daily website that ādue to continued strong enforcement [...]
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Todayās Pointless Whinge About The Localsā¦

This article was aggregated from Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui
.
Toothpaste for Dinner
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
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Whatās that buzzing?

This article was aggregated from Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui
Iāve got a bit of a bee in my bonnet. Iām feeling peevish, irritable and testy. Or, put another way, acrimonious, cantankerous, captious, cranky, cross, crotchety, fractious, grouchy, grumpy, ill-natured, mean, ornery, out-of-sorts, pertinacious, querulous, splenetic, and tetchy.
For the benefit or those who only speak Microsoft English, this means Iām pissed (a phrase [...]
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How Long is your Schlong?

This article was aggregated from Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui
It was recently noted that the difference between being in a black Audi A6 driven by Hu Jintao, and putting your hand down the front of his trousers, was that youād feel more of a dick being seen in the Audi.
Which is probably true.
Which brings us nicely to the all-important question that is on the [...]
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Vote MyLaowai or the baby Panda gets it!

This article was aggregated from Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui
The China Blog Awards 2008 are on, and Iām holding a baby Panda hostage in order to get your votes.
Now, some of you may think Iām not serious, or that Iām bluffing. You may even suspect Iām pulling your leg somewhat, so in order to show you how wrong you are, hereās whatās been done [...]
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Itās a Whopper!

This article was aggregated from Wo Shi Laowai - Wo Pa Shui
Cai Wu, Chinaās information minister, said at an event sponsored by the Centre for Strategic and International Studies think tank, that international claims that his country tramples internet and media freedoms stem from a cultural misunderstanding of the role the press plays in Chinese society, where news media must work with the government.
In his view, [...]
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